Rachel Nabors @rachelnabors@toot.cafe

It's ok to step back.

It's ok to let go of the way you think things *should* be, of the story you've told yourself for so long about the way things are.

There are still so many people to meet; still people you have yet to become.

They cannot all be what you expect.
They cannot all be what you asked for.

It's ok to step back.

It's ok to let go.

Anybody still here? Can I start subtweeting myself?

Probably one of my best trips. Lots of personal growth and realizations. And hikes in places foreign to my ancestral memory. I was honored to spend time with some women who I consider truly excellent human beings, and kindled friendships I hope to expand over the years.

It was a long trip to Australia. I stayed in three cities: Sydney, Melbourne, and Brisbane. I visited wildlife sanctuaries in Healesville and Currumbin. I surprised myself by standing up to a bully and then later by getting on a train to a place I'd never been before and where I knew no one. This was my first trip abroad with a proper income. I spent all my allowance on tea, chocolate, zines, and gifts for my coworkers. My only regret: shoulda taken the last 2 days off and headed into the surf.

Thanks for listening to me nerd out about birds, y'all! That's a wrap!

I 💖 that evolutionarily there was a point where there was a fancy male and there was an industrious male, and a hen was like, "I'd hit it."

"But Rachel, I'm not pretty enough to be a Bird of Paradise! This system is unfair!" Glad you brought it up! Consider the Bowerbird. Bowerbirds and Birds of Paradise split from the same ancestor years ago. Bowerbirds are plainer. To make up for it, they build pavilions of tchotchkes. Bowerbirds work to be chosen through their diligence and craft. Somewhere along the line, females started choosing males for their skillz.

Additionally, some of these birds have long wiry feathers that they will rub and flick females with. Given how birds feel through feathers. This makes sense: full on body contact can feel unpleasant to most birds, but light touches like these could feel like a "caress." These behaviors look funny to humans, but they're a lot more like make out sessions when you realize what they're feeling and doing.

My favorite clip shows one of these males rubbing his head on an utterly passionless looking female's head. Then suddenly: bird sexy times.With each squeak he's saying "do you wanna?" And she's like, "you don't see me flying away." Check the 47 mark: https://youtu.be/KIYkpwyKEhY

Over the years he's learned how to "ask for consent" by getting this close and touching her while giving her room to exit. The other lady birds see this and know they can participate in his display without risk.

"But Rachel! Why don't these males just force themselves on the females? That works, too." Ho ho! But onlooking females bail on that scene fast. Who wants to watch a performance if they'll be pressured into a deal they don't want? Women can see. They can fly. They have agency, and they can choose to not show up.

Watching the experienced, respectful males is kinda wow. When the younger ones get pushy, they lose. The older ones are so patient.

Leks are groups of performing males, much like a bird rock band performing for lady birds considering carefully which to bang. Leks build comraderie and brotherhood among males while they learn valuable lady-smooching skills and attract more attention with spectacle.

Angry young man: I don't understand why I can't get a girl! I'm a nice guy!

Me: Sweetie, have you tried joining a lek?

These birds innovate to attract attention, to be chosen.

This is sexual selection.

The females raise the chicks on their own: with so much bounty and no predators, two parents aren't necessary. Sometimes I look at issues we're facing between sexes and think, "Are these society's growing pains as we become more like island birds?"

In an environment of peace free of war and predation where food is plentiful, sexual selection starts driving evolution. See fancy island birds.

When folks lament that humans have stopped evolving, it makes me giggle. We lost predatory selection, but there are plenty of other drivers. Birds of Paradise and Bowerbirds will tell you how hard they work to be chosen to sire future generations, building stages for display practicing routines, stealing props from one another.

@stearns I'm so happy to see you!

@ppk Hey, Peter! Super looking forward to CSS Day :)


You may know me some such fabulous Twitter accounts as @rachelnabors and @PosiGalaxia.

#introduction Hey. I'm new. Slightly alarmed. I like to make comics and web animations. I work on Edge at Microsoft. Travel and speak a lot. New to Seattle. Can't find good tea here. This is an actuall photo of me. https://toot.cafe/media/I4FtuUvPU-zQ9qPSt_U