i was sexually assaulted in college, two guys held me down and digitally penetrated me. contrary to stereotype, i dont get PTSD flashbacks to this at all. i ended up having a weird fixation with having my fiancé (now ex) recreate parts of the assault in bed, so it made me kinkier? somehow. it slightly bothers me that my assailants turned a terrifying a humiliating experience into something i want to do in bed that i never cared about before. fuckin mind control
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@webinista @Xibanya
And (as a cismale) a big part of why I never will. I'm scared of being scary to anyone. My height is already geometrically imposing. But at the very least, I can remain as brittle as humanly possible.